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Friday, August 15, 2008
Went to sayen's blog just now... she seemed so... so... frustrated... dunno what happen and who she is referring too... anyway.. today... is a total disaster... i finally understand that sitting with a friend that is very close to you isn't that good after all... Have no mood to blog now... so sorry bloggers... once i mention what happen in the moning... my feelings just went upside down... sorry bloggers... forgive me.... I really dun understand why... why isit that you are so...so... Not because of i am jealous or whatever i just realised that i am now starting to hate you... maybe is because jokes to you aren't jokes to me... today maybe what you say in the class may mean nothing... but to me... i still have to force myself to smile and treat it as a joke... Do you ever understand my feelings... i dun like to take photos... yet you wanna took one... i dun like to get slap... but you TWO slap me... i am not someone who is employed to make you laugh... You already know that i will be scared if you suddenly appeared behind me... yet you still do it... i dun like people to call me stupid... i really feel so humiliated... i have pride... do you think i enjoy a lot by you calling me a stupid...? an idiot? i everytime i have to forced myself not to be childish... and i am always telling myself... don't shout at them... but bear with it... they are good friends...you can't lose them... come on you can do it.. dun shout... dun be childish... let them play... nevermind..bear with it... you know everytime i have to tell myself... remind myself... Not to shout and let you two angry... i dun even know why i am doing so... i dun know why... why that you two like to... like to prank me so much in order to make you two laugh i really dun understand... everytime you are laughing... you will definitely see me laugh... but do you know that i am forcing my smile out... DO YOU KNOW??? NO YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU DON'T KNOW AND YOU WILL NEVER TRY TO KNOW... i tell you my feelings you will change... but change for a short period of time... but after a while... everything go back like the past... how you talk to me... how you prank me... EVERYTHING... YOU TWO NEVER SEEMED TO REMEMBER...! you say you that time dulan with me cause i attitude-ed... AM I WRONG TO DO SO? YA THAT DAY IS YOU TWO TREAT... BUT YOU ALL LET ME WAITED FOR DUNNO HOW MANY HOURS... MAYBE IS BECAUSE I HEAR WRONGLY... BUT CAN'T I JUST FEEL EMO FOR JUST A WHILE...? IS THAT EVEN WRONG... DOESN'T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SO...? DOES IT MEAN THAT YOU TREAT MEANS I MUST GO ACCORDING TO YOUR TIME... TELL ME> ISIT?!!!! THESE FEW DAYS I AM TRYING TO CALM MYSELF DOWN... MY BIRTHDAY...12 AUGUST... BEING CALLED A VERY SUAY DAY... CAUSE GOT TEST AND ALL THOSE STUFF... SO BEING CALLED A VERY SUAY DAY... DO YOU EVER WANT YOUR BEST FRIEND TO CALL YOUR VERY OWN BIRTHDAY A VERY SUAY DAY... AND YOU DID... YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT WHAT I FEEL... YOU, ARE ALWAYS THINKING THAT PEOPLE WHO CAN'T ANSWER QUESTIONS THAT YOU KNOW ARE STUPID... YOU ARE ALWAYS CALLING PEOPLE STUPID...BITCH OR ASSHOLE... YOU, ARE ALWAYS EMO-ING... DO YOU KNOW YOU CAUSES A LOT OF PEOPLE TO FEEL EMO WHEN THEY SEE YOU... DO YOU KNOW YOU WILL INFLUENCE A LOT OF PEOPLE...? DO YOU KNOW...? YOU NEVER KNOW... YOU WILL JUST BE THERE... "OH... I AM EMO..." THEN YOU WILL JUST WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO CHAT WITH YOU... EVERYTIME YOU ARE LIKE THIS... I HAD ENOUGH!. YOU EVERYTIME INFLUENCE HER... AND THEN SHE WILL WILL PUT A VERY EMO FACE IN FRONT OF ME... JUST BEACUSE OF YOU... SHE IS EMO... AND CAUSE ME TO HAVE NO ONE AROUND ME WHEN I NEED HELP... WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT... I DUN UNDERSTAND... where are all our happy moments... where isit? where? WHERE???!!!!! its being destroyed!... destroyed completely... destroyed completely by you two in my memories... completely... completely... completely... completely... completely... completely... completely... completely... completely... completely... completely... completely... completely...... |
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